I’m not trying here to tell you that you shouldn’t ever ask for support. this would be stupid, but I want to remember you to keep in mind that you won’t always get the support you are wishing to get. if you forget this fact, your life will turn into hell. I fell into that trap recently and I’m trying to fix my thinking again.

Before co-founding eventtus, I used to depend on myself in everything and not ask for any support from others. I think many factors helped me be like that. I grow up as an athlete and I used to run for 2 hours everyday. if you used to be an athlete you will know that no one can help you get better other than yourself. the more you sweat, the more you get better.

Also, I think my experience serving in the army and my experience as a self-taught software engineer were another factor in making me used to not asking for help or support from others. I think I was progressing well during that part of my life. I did even save from my own money to attend college. I didn’t depend on my family’s money to join college.

Still things started to change when I started to get into entrepreneurship and startups communities. I started to see how these communities provide a lot of support; from competitions, talks, courses and mentoring to even opportunities to travel to other countries.

I wasn’t used to seeing anything like that during all my life. as I told you. I was always expecting nothing from others as no one had anything to give me. being part of that community made me always think about

  • how can I get those people to help me?
  • how can I get into that great free course?
  • how can I be one of those who will get selected to travel to USA or Europe to learn something new during that trip?
  • how can I get those people to fund my idea?
  • how can I win this competition to get enough money to support my startup?

I become so dependant on others and whenever I don’t get what I’m looking for, I get sad, disappointed and even angry. my personality changed to the worse during ~2 years of being part of the entrepreneurship community. I did learn a lot of other things, but destroyed some good thing that I already had for years.

I did even break my no money from parents rule too. I borrowed money from my parents to support my startup. I had no other options so I think I made the right thing for that problem, and the benefits will get back to my parents again someday when this company reach success -isA-.

If you’re new to the entrepreneurship community, that would be my advice for you.

  • don’t be a free stuff kid. focus on what you really want, not what you can get.
  • don’t depend a lot on other’s support in your plans. make outside support your D, E, F plans instead of A, B plans.
  • don’t get disappointed when you try to get help/support from others and they don’t help.
  • some people become sometimes too busy to help, while some others just love to say publicly that they want to help, but when you reach them they don’t help you.
  • life isn’t fair.

Keep rowing, keep the boat moving.